Week 10 EOC: Jokes against lawyers

The assignment given for today is to find five lawyers jokes across two to five sights; preferably five. Then also include the links they came from. This is a light work to help release the workload tension in other classes.

Despite the jokes and cruelty of them, I do often consider the honest and hardworking individuals not always at the front page, in the lime light, or seen ahead of the pack. Also consider that a number of them prefer working in the background, despite the increased difficulty this can present; meaning they may not always be recognized for their efforts.


#1: Honest Lawyers | Peter Tiersma, Lawyer Jokes, http://www.languageandlaw.org/JOKES.HTM

It is St. Patrick's day, and as luck would have it, Kevin comes across a leprechaun.  He pounces on the leprechaun and asks to be granted his wish.

"What might your wish be?" the leprechaun asks.

Kevin pulls out a map of the world and points out a wide swarth of North America.  "That's what I want," he declares.

"That's a rather tall order," the leprechaun says.  "And to be honest, I'm not all that experienced yet in granting wishes.  Is there something else I can do for you instead?"

Kevin ponders this for a while.  "I guess I'll settle for the name of an honest lawyer."

The leprechaun rolls his eyes.  "Let me see that map again."

#2: A Hot Claim | Ruth. Best Criminal Lawyer Joke of the Year - Award Winner.
< http://www.correntewire.com/best_criminal_lawyer_joke_of_the_year_award_winne r>
 
All right, you can shoot me, but this is classic lawyer humor. Just got it from an attorney friend, and I suspect it might be a tad exaggerated, but not much.

A Charlotte, North Carolina lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued... and WON! (Stay with me.) delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. 

The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company which it hadwarranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires".

*NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
* After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimonyfrom the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.


 #3: Handy-Man Lawsuit | < http://brainden.com/lawyer-jokes.htm >

How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company
#4: Lawyer and the Pope | < http://www.funny-games.biz/jokes/lawyer-and-pope.html >

Once a Pope and a lawyer died and they went to heaven. So God came and said, "Follow me and I will give you your rooms."So they both followed. First God gave the Pope his room. It was very small with a small bed and a small desk."Thank you, thank you my lord,"said the Pope. Then God gave the lawyer his room, it was big room with a big bed and a big deck with a pool and pretty woman."Mr. God, why do you give all this to me and just that small room to the Pope?'' "Well, popes, we have them by the dozens, and lawyers, well, your the first one."

#5: One-Liner | Vas. Lawyer Jokes. <  http://www.gigaflop.demon.co.uk/humour/lawyer.htm >

What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? 

 

Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

 

 

 

Week 7 EOC: Plan of Action; Final Project.

This project is a serious challenge for any person. The following is my plan of action for the next three weeks, even with my other responsibilities.

            First, I had no idea that I could find up to thirty (that is Three-Zero) distinct law firms within this state alone. Many of them have practice experience in the other categories.

            My main categories for this assignment are “Intellectual Property”, “Natural Resources”, “Tax Law”, “Employment”, “Immigration” and “Business Law” – five firms selected in each category. More than I needed – assigned number of 25 – but a strong start for potential successful interviews.

            The overall focus of this project is erred toward my Major (Graphic Design), but I will also include questions in areas that concern me – specifically: Environment, Intellectual Property (“Pro Bono” and Paid), Veterans, Tax Law (when it relates to sustainable activities and energies) and Employment (Internships and “Pro Bono”).

            During this time, I will keep the following course competencies in mind:

1. To provide an in-depth exploration of competitive business practices.

2. To emphasize the protection of intellectual property, including copyright, business and service marks.

3. To instruct in the procedure for obtaining protection for intellectual property, enabling the student to make practical use of the information provided.

4. To introduce and define the legal terminology and rationale associated with contractual relations.

5. To review and clarify the various types of contracts and licenses used in industry, as well as the relevant miscellaneous and standard clauses contained in each.

6. To establish the prima facie elements required for the avoidance of liability in the areas of defamation and privacy invasion, as they pertain to the commercial and electronic markets.

            This will be my plan for the remaining time on the project.

Starting 22 August 2012; 1 – 5 pm during class breaks: Draft the ten questions I will ask after carefully reviewing my textbook  (Patent, Copyright, Trademark Law & Trade Secret Law).

In ten questions: 2 each of Environment, Intellectual Property (hereafter “IP”),  Veterans, Tax Law and Employment. The focus within each – if any – has been specified above.

23 August 2012 ~ 6am to 12pm: review all ten questions and edit each for increased precision and also include the MLA-cited sources behind each one to provide clarification.

24 August 2012: Early morning (~6am to 11am) and late evening (~7pm to 11pm), work on my script for calling each Lawyer (or Attorney) starting with the courtesy call-in format shown below – adjusted accordingly.

|-----| 

Good Morning [Sir or Ma’am] of [Law office]

I am a Graphic Designer seeking your professional opinion on ten legal questions covering [these subject areas].

-----Would you be willing to spend only 1-hour of your time within the next immediate two weeks to answer all of my questions to the best of your experience?

---------If yes: “Thank you for your time. I greatly appreciate it” We can communicate in person, via Skype, Phone Call or email exchange.

---------If not, whom do you recommend I contact to have these questions answered?

-----Do I have your permission to record our conversion for non-commercial academic-only purposes, provided I give you a copy of the recording if you so choose?

---------If yes: “Thank you for allowing me to do so.”

---------If not, is there some other form of media you will allow for recording or would you prefer to answer these questions on your own time, and later send back your responses within the next two weeks?

-----If necessary, I can come to your office at a pre-determined date [if said office is located within

either Henderson, Las Vegas or North Las Vegas areas).

Updates are soon to follow.

Week 4 EOC: Death-Race Jeopardy

300 Words.

 This variant of Jeopardy was one of the most enjoyable test periods of my education here at AiLV; highly dynamic and engaging - this is definitely one of the strategies many others could build on for study sessions outside of class. In hindsight, this game has both increased flexibility and also a distinguished amount of unpredictability. 

 My teacher for this class is hitting the ground running with his methods, the curriculum is guided and the games are more than worth the effort expended.

 Personally, I need to increase my study efforts; at this point on five point scale, I feel roughly about a two point five and work on my weak areas include general recall of the knowledge. Specifically, I need to associate the Patent terms with administration process (paper work) involved and understand the "why's" behind real-life cases.

Personal Note: In what other ways, could this game be adapted to make studying more dynamic; in the case of only five individuals or less, equal ground? Ah! Perhaps, I could organize the terms and forms by hierarchy and subcategories? Or would it be better to organize them in some other form?

  The structure of the game is as follows:

(1) Jeopardy; to a maximum of seven headings, each person must choose any subject and in order from $100 to $500, Final Jeopardy being absolute last –   no exceptions. 

The cost of final jeopardy can be less than – or equal to – an entity’s current total.

(2) The Death Race portion; When a wrong or right answer is written down, no points are lost. Only when no answer is given are points subtracted. If a right answer is given by any entity, then that entity receives a number of points equal to the selected target in the chosen category.

           
(2a) Assuming no tie in points, the person or group with the highest Jeopardy points receives a multiplier equal to the total number of entities involved and each subsequent entity receiving a multiplier equal to one less than the previous higher point-winning entity.

 (2b) For example: 4 groups; G1 = 1200pts = 4(x), G2 = 900pts = 3(x), G3 = 600pts = 2(x), G4 = 300pts = 1(x).

(2c) Then once the multipliers have been established from the ranking order of Jeopardy points; immediately afterwards the Jeopardy points themselves are entirely disregarded for purposes of the final outcome.

(2c1) X = the number of stickers each group wagers into a collective pot. Then every person within that group receives a number of points equal to “X” times their group-ranking multiplier.

(2c1-i) For example: Six stickers placed into a collective pot times the G1 multiplier of “4”; the result is 24 common points, as one total undivided, given to each person in that one group.

(2c1-ii) The group with the highest common total is the winner of all groups playing.

(2c2) The score of the individual person is the result of adding the common-point total “X” of his or her group “A” to the total number of remaining stickers personally withheld “B”. 

(2c2-i) So G1 earned 24 points (4x, x=6) being “A”, one member personally withheld “B” 6 stickers; that one member would receive (A=24pts) + (B=6pts) = (C=30) personal points.

 (2c2-ii) The result of “A+B” would be used, by the teacher, as a buffer of “Test Score (0 to 100) points + C ≤ 100 points – the final test score will not exceed 100 points, regardless if “C” would cause the final test score to be greater than 100 points.

(3) Overall: A person receives two stickers for each instance of being the    game host, one sticker for being a score writer and each person of the winning team receives one sticker.

(3a) To maintain equal participation, no person can be the host and/or  score writer more than once in a class day. A person can each be a host and score writer – not as a dual role - no more than one time in each class day. It is also likely for a person to only be a score and not a host, and vice versa; being one or the other does not always guarantee a chance of being the host or score writer.

Stolen Valor Act; Raising My Thoughts

  I - like many veterans - are angered at the decision of the Supreme Court. However, they are not against the idea of protecting awards, ranks and experiences military individuals hard-earned from fraud - only that the legislation itself is not precise enough to effectively and constitutionally protect that and at the same time not be in conflict with our Constitution itself.

  "Justice Breyer also provided possible templates for rewriting the act, saying it had 'substantial justification' (Dao, New York Times)." 

  We also need to remember that the U.S. Constitution is the basis of our laws and also that we the people are a part of the Government (ideologically, not physically); we can also directly affect its actions and of our most simple and strongest Powers To VOTE which changes are necessary.

  In the same article, Jameel Jaffer (Deputy Legal Director) of the American Civil Liberties Union, points out an interesting tip about the 1st Amendent - "The First Amendment reserves to individual citizens, not the government, the right to separate what is true from what is false, and to decide what ideas to introduce into private conversation and public debate".

  When any one of us finds out someone deliberately - especially knowingly and without coercion - lies about being in the military and/or earning any form of Valor, on a matter of Character the person responsible will quickly learn the consequences. This does not just include a loss of Character; it is also a loss of respect - both personal and from others. 

  It can be the equivalent of a psychological atom bomb.

  My recommendation: First attempt to fix the policy if it is inadequate in its current form; improve, revise and increase precision if it is has a generally good template; and if it conflicts with the Constitution: How, in what ways, can the policy be made to not conflict and still maintain the necessary precision to avoid over-reaching?

  Yes, I am very pissed off at the individuals committing this fraud. But, my central concern is to help protect individuals from those who use that status to inflict real harm - financially, physically or mentally, or all three - to others using Deadly Force.

References

Dao, James. "Lying About War Medals Is Protected Speech, Justices Rule." The New York Times. Print: 2012 - June 29; Section A18. The New York Times, 2012 - June 29. Web. 30 July 2012.
< http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/29/us/justices-say-lying-about-military-honors-is-protected.html >

United States. U.S. Court of Appeals; Ninth Circuit, Supreme Court. Number 11-210. United States of America, Petitioner vs. Xavier Alvarez; entered on 2011 June 17. Web, PDF. 30 July 2012.
< http://www.americanbar.org/content/dam/aba/publications/supreme_court_preview/briefs/11-210_petitioner.authcheckdam.pdf >

Implications of NSA on Design

"America's top cyber-warrior asks hackers for help"

After reading this news story, I am - once again - worried of the big picture impacts upon the privacy and security of every individual person; both abroad and local.

Specifically, I am addressing the impacts toward Creative thought and Open Expression that are the hallmarks of Graphic Designers and every citizen.

If the private sector - that is us - and the Government - local, state and federal - are allowed to share information more freely between each other without some form of restriction or protection then a number of significant problems open up.

(1) Undue burden - meaning unnecessary or wrongful - would be placed on individuals or groups.

(2) A person's specific and unusual habits could be taken out of context, however slight, and cause  
      wrongful arrest by assuming the next actions of that person, "knee-jerking" - especially when that
      person has not broken any laws to begin with.

(3) The artist's satirical - or constructive - response may be seen as "offensive to
      [insert focus here], and must be removed to prevent [shielded subject or focus]".

(4) Most worrying: Our works, online presence and business could be hi-jacked, and our reputations
      permanently damaged - this includes all forms of intellectual property under our names. If
      "personally identifiable information" is heavily leaked, then so are the chances of protecting
      our futures.

Even with all account and website settings set to "Fort Knox", any information placed on the internet needs to be thought of as Public Record for perspective purposes and restricted accordingly - unless there are clear reasons to go beyond that.

Personally, I recommend all settings at "Fort Knox" initially and carefully loosening the restraints as it becomes easier to mentally track what has been posted - in this light you are better able to respond when something does happen.

Reference:

Paul Wagonseil, SecurityNewsDaily Managing Editor. "America's Top Cyber-Warrior Asks Hackers for Help". Security on NBCNEWS. NBC News, 2012 - July 27. Web. 2012 - July 30.

< http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/48364419/ns/technology_and_science-security/t/americas-top-cyberwarrior-asks-hackers-help/ >

Week 2 EOC; Irate in 30 seconds

After watching Erin Brockovich and then researching the waste fallout from Pacific Gas & Electric, I am in an internally-restrained position of being irate.

The citizens were poisoned, and the top executives willfully and with full intent decided to attempt "damage control" by purchasing that land under the table; they also simultaneously were taking advantage of the locals' ignorance of the law.

According to OneEarth, the total for the 1996 damages to Hinkley California residents was $333million. This information was provided by the original Erin Brochovich herself.

http://www.onearth.org/blog/chromium-6-still-threatens-californias-drinking-water

The most worrisome information? PG&E still continues to leak Chromium 6 (hexavalent chromium) in multiple water sources within the last two years. The fine this time is only 3.6 million by State to PG&E   due to "litigation costs", reduced from 5.4 million.

http://www.paintsquare.com/news/?fuseaction=view&id=7099

My central question: Why, after two significant and related events, is the state of California showing any leniency whatsoever to PG&E when they have clearly violated basic environmental laws?

Hey! Yes, You! Read about me here!

This professional graphic designer is a highly curious and very quiet, multi-disciplinary individual with a very broad-spectrum and often shifting series of interests. Literally from fine arts through hardware of technology and the occasional scripts – be they automation or a good educational flick.  Generally, while not always perfect, I endeavor to learn from my mistakes and keep pushing forward.

Topics of Interest include Biomimicry, Sustainability, Becoming a 360 Designer and Developer from print to digital, Admiring any architecture that breaks the conventional ninety-degree planes of the commons, dazzling arrays of natural color weather they be from our natural parks or the rocks of canyons and mountains all around, intentional and well placed puns, along with plenty of quiet time listening to the doldrums of the winds in remote valleys surrounding the greater Clark County area.

The best performances are realized in open, positive, challenging and perspective understanding arenas of creativity.

Be aware this mind is in many - if not all - directions at any given time, a highly able mental
multi-tracker and information sponge. If I would ask for a moment to breath both mentally and physically please respect those moments. Certain situations are within my control, but only to a fault.

As a young veteran of the Navy, I have the valuable skills of constantly striving to improve personally and professionally – especially administratively. Both thankful to Veterans Affairs and US Navy for the opportunities they enabled, as well as the discipline and focus from active duty.

My administrative potential was discovered in Air Force JROTC in high school

(2003 – 2007), where I quickly accepted increasing responsibilities up to and including overseeing supply, personnel, colors and assistance with ceremony planning. Through effort and teamwork many awards were earned, including Distinguished Unit and shockingly American Legion Gold Military Excellence.  This event in life was one of the most exciting and pivotal times I have ever had the honor to experience.

The pen-ultimate life-long challenge is to develop both left and right brain modalities equally dynamically. To have my humanity exceed technology.

Never Ignite, Always Engage.

Cheers!