Despite the jokes and cruelty of them, I do often consider the honest and hardworking individuals not always at the front page, in the lime light, or seen ahead of the pack. Also consider that a number of them prefer working in the background, despite the increased difficulty this can present; meaning they may not always be recognized for their efforts.
#1: Honest Lawyers | Peter Tiersma, Lawyer Jokes, http://www.languageandlaw.org/JOKES.HTM
It is St. Patrick's day, and as luck would have it, Kevin comes across a leprechaun. He pounces on the leprechaun and asks to be granted his wish.
"What
might your wish be?" the leprechaun asks.
Kevin pulls out a map of the world and points out a wide swarth of North America. "That's what I want," he declares.
"That's a rather tall order," the leprechaun says. "And to be honest, I'm not all that experienced yet in granting wishes. Is there something else I can do for you instead?"
Kevin ponders this for a while. "I guess I'll settle for the name of an honest lawyer."
The leprechaun rolls his eyes. "Let me see that map again."
Kevin pulls out a map of the world and points out a wide swarth of North America. "That's what I want," he declares.
"That's a rather tall order," the leprechaun says. "And to be honest, I'm not all that experienced yet in granting wishes. Is there something else I can do for you instead?"
Kevin ponders this for a while. "I guess I'll settle for the name of an honest lawyer."
The leprechaun rolls his eyes. "Let me see that map again."
#2: A Hot Claim | Ruth. Best Criminal Lawyer Joke of the Year - Award Winner.
< http://www.correntewire.com/best_criminal_lawyer_joke_of_the_year_award_winne r>
All right, you can shoot me, but this is classic lawyer humor. Just got it from an attorney friend, and I suspect it might be a tad exaggerated, but not much.
A Charlotte, North Carolina lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued... and WON! (Stay with me.) delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company which it hadwarranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires".
*NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
* After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimonyfrom the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
#3: Handy-Man Lawsuit | < http://brainden.com/lawyer-jokes.htm >
How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company
#4: Lawyer and the Pope | < http://www.funny-games.biz/jokes/lawyer-and-pope.html >
Once a Pope and a lawyer died and they went to heaven. So God came and said, "Follow me and I will give you your rooms."So they both followed. First God gave the Pope his room. It was very small with a small bed and a small desk."Thank you, thank you my lord,"said the Pope. Then God gave the lawyer his room, it was big room with a big bed and a big deck with a pool and pretty woman."Mr. God, why do you give all this to me and just that small room to the Pope?'' "Well, popes, we have them by the dozens, and lawyers, well, your the first one."
#5: One-Liner | Vas. Lawyer Jokes. < http://www.gigaflop.demon.co.uk/humour/lawyer.htm >
- What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?
- Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.
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